iScotch.ca

discerning drunks classy alcoholics

Tag: don’t try

Teacher’s Highland Cream with Davey & Alex

It’s been a while since we did an actual scotch here at iScotch. Like, two months. We’ve really burned through a lot of what’s available nearby, going to have to start going further afield soon. But, in the meantime, here’s a cheap twisty blend from the bottom shelf at the LCBO – Teacher’s Highland Cream.

Gentleman Jack Rare Tennessee Whiskey with Davey & Alex

Gentleman Jack Rare Tennessee Whiskey.  Why is it a Gentleman and what makes it rare? Let’s investigate! The main selling difference between Gentleman Jack and his dirt common cousin regular Jack Daniel’s is a second charcoal filtering. If you believe the marketing, this smooths it significantly, and is noteworthy because Gentleman Jack is the only

The Original Oldbury Sheep Dip Malt Whisky with Dan & Davey

Wiki defines “sheep dip” as a liquid formulation of insecticide and fungicide which shepherds and farmers may use to protect their sheep from infestation against external parasites such as itch mite (Psorobia ovis), blow-fly, ticks and lice. So, yay!…? Sounds delicious. Sheep Dip Malt Whisky is made by the Spencerfield Spirit Company in Inverkeithing, across

Century Reserve Lot 15-25 Custom Blend Rye with Dan & Goran

Century Reserve Lot 15-25 Custom Blend Rye Whisky. That’s a lot of words. AGAIN. And I’m always suspicious of whiskies with numbers in the name. I checked the website, the meagre write-up says it has been aged for “many” years. Numbers in the name, words in the age. Not a great sign. It is, however,

Great Lakes Brewery Beard of Zeus Barrel-Aged Barley Wine with Ryan

Great Lakes Brewery Beard of Zeus Barrel-Aged Barley Wine. It’s a name whose length is only bested by how long I’ve been meaning to post this review – there just always seemed to be something better to talk about. I believe Ryan picked this up for us to try. We cracked it open and had

iScotch Bourbon Slurry with Dan, Goran & Ryan

And now for something different, again. Yeah, it’s different in almost exactly the same way as last time, but slightly different from that. This time, we’ve created a concoction of… um… well, I can’t honestly remember if this is just bourbons, or all American whiskies. But yeah, Project Pour Stuff Together Over The Course Of

Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Honey with Dan, Goran & Davey

Today is Hallowe’en! The perfect day to review this horror-show, Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Honey. This… drink… is kind of a nightmare, front to back. The taste is overpowering (but more on that later) and the marketing is over the top. There’s a promo video of a swarm of male King Bees hunting a bottle down

Dewar’s Highlander Honey Spirit Drink with Dan, Ryan & Goran

Dewar’s Highlander Honey. Just fucking don’t. Seriously. I will write this whole review, and tell you all about this war crime of a spirit drink, and their process, and their website, and what we thought it tastes like, and all the rest of it, but it’s extremely important that you never fucking drink or buy

Red Stag Kentucky Black Cherry Bourbon Whiskey with Dan & Goran

We’re riding the line between Weirdosland and Flavoured Country right now, and this week we wander into Black Cherry gulch. Gulch being apt as it’s the grossest sounding place name I can think of without Googling. Red Stag is a line from Jim Beam which also offers such other palate-bangers as “Hardcore Cider” (I love

McFadden Spirit Drink with Dan & Ryan

McFadden Spirit Drink. Because when you can’t call it whiskey, you call it spirits. Either that, or they’ve jammed the souls of some indigent Irish washer children into the mash. I guess that’s the same thing; spirits is spirits, right? Technically, the full name of this is McFadden Spirit Drink A Recipe of Whiskey &

Whyte & Mackay Special Blended Scotch with Dan & Goran

A classic twisty blend, Whyte & Mackay is available in large quantities from most LCBOs. Launched in 1844 in Glasgow, the company has changed hands many times, coming to be partly owned by Diageo and is currently involved in an anti-trust investigation against Diageo’s massive scotch holdings. They are also associated with epic scotch brands

The Famous Jubilee Special Edition Jubilee Reserve with Goran & Ryan

‘Allo! ‘Allo! ‘Allo! Wot ‘ave we ‘ere, den? Sorry. I’m sorry. We have here our third entry in the Grouse family, The Famous Jubilee.  This blend was specially crafted for Her Royal Majesty Lizzie Windsor’s Diamond Jubilee in 2012. You know, that party a whole country had for their richest lady. There’s a couple interesting

Forty Creek Copper Pot Reserve with Dan, Goran & Matt

Forty Creek Copper Pot Reserve, the second rung of the Forty Creek product line. This is our third foray into this brand, previous trying the Premium Barrel Select, and pitting their Cream Liquor against Bailey’s on Christmas Day. As we mentioned in the PBS review, we have some history with Forty Creek, mostly for parties

Cutty Sark Blended Scotch with Dan, Goran & Ryan

Given the nautical theme of this particular bottle we are legally required to do this entire review in Pirate – specifically a ruckas 1700s band ‘o pirates wit’ cutlass ‘n not 2000s scary band ‘o pirates wit’ RPGs ‘n AK47s. Ahoy!, did ye be knowin’ that t’ guy who invented t’ AK47 lived t’ be

Dewar’s White Label Blended Scotch with Dan, Ryan, Goran & Davey

Still deep in budget territory, we find the Dewar’s White Label. Wait, you say. Or… the you in my head anyway. Or, yous – there’s at least a million of you and you all wait with baited breath to read the next disrespectful, distrustful, pseudo-anti-corporate-but-still-buying-their-product-ful missive from iScotch’s secret base in the Andes mountains, where

Danfield’s Private Reserve Small Batch with Ryan & Goran

Just a quick entry in our ongoing series of budget reviews. But, you guys just did a Macallan tasting, you might say, if you were paying attention. And Yeah, I’d say, we did. It was free. This is Danfield’s Private Reserve. It’s made by Williams & Churchill. They’re either from Lethbridge, Alberta or Valleyfield, Quebec.

Islay Mist 8y Blended Scotch with Dan, Goran, Ryan & Davey

Interesting. A cheap, twist-off blend… that also happens to be aged and specifically from Islay. Islay Mist 8y is produced by MacDuff International, the same people who gave us Grand MacNish – which has been referred to as “scrotch”. Less interesting, more worrisome. And a look at the back of the bottle points to its

Gibson’s Finest 12y with Dan, Ryan & Goran

Part one of our Drank Myself Budget Unconscious series, Gibson’s Finest 12y. And we’ve managed to stay one rung off the bottom here, because at almost $2.00 more than the Sterling per 750ml, this is the second tier offering from Gibson’s. Gibson’s is owned by Grant’s from Scotland, and was known for it’s rye in

Canadian Club Small Batch Classic 12y with Goran & Ryan

The classic Christmas cadieux, the boozy boxed set. Thanks Ryan! Canadian Club gets a bit of a bad rap, one we tried to address with our review about the Premium. Unfortunately, this particular numbered-C12-057-for-some-reason Classic misses the mark fairly significantly. Canadian Club is one of those brands that gets named drop when trying to establish

Fifth Beer Of Christmas: Mill Street Brewery Barley Wine with Goran & Ryan

YAY CHRISTMAS BEERS! YAY FIVE BEERS! SOrry! sorry for shouting! This is Mill Street Brewery‘s Barley Wine Batch #13-331-4! This will be a short review because we’ve already talked about who Mill Street Brewery are and what a barley wine is. This is both of those things so click those links if you want to

Deanston Single Malt Scotch with Dan, Ryan, Goran & Bowick

Deanston. Haven’t heard or seen much of this brand since starting this blog, so I decided to grab it when it showed up at the LCBO. We do it so you don’t have to, and in this case you really shouldn’t. Deanston is owned by Burn Stewart Distillers, who also own Tobermory and Bunnahabhain, neither

Round 2: Proof by AJ (Guest Review)

Simon – This is our inaugural “Round 2” post, where we revisit bottles we tried more than a year ago. It’s written by guest reviewer AJ, university friend, former nemesis, former roommate, fellow Centretown Rhino Party member & snake handler. He’s also written a companion piece to this review over at ajvalliant.com. Enjoy! I found

Wild Turkey Kentucky Straight Rye Whiskey with Dan, Ryan & Goran

Continued attempts by team iScotch to find a rye we can actually get behind – Dan is probably our most rye-positive member while Ryan ironically insists no good rye exists. Either way, this is not that rye. We’ve reviewed a Wild Turkey before: decent but not amazing. This is the rye equivalent – Wild Turkey

Hiram Walker Special Old Rye Whisky with Dan & Ryan

Very very short review here. This isn’t worth your time so we won’t spend much of ours on it either. Hiram Walker launched Canadian Club whiskey, among others, but weirdly while Hiram Walker’s distillery (founded in 1858 in Walkerton, still going) is owned by Pernod, the Canadian Club brand is part of Beam, as is

Alberta Springs 10y Rye with Dan, Ryan & Alex

Back in Canada. Well, Alberta. But purchased in western and consumed in eastern Ontario. Enough geography,  what is this, Rand McFrickin’ally? 4 and a half years now I’ve been waiting to use that. I don’t think it lands as good as I thought. Anyway, it’s a genuine aged rye, which makes it a bit of

Jim Beam Devil’s Cut with Krystal, Dan, Ryan, Alex & Eddie

On the eve of the good day, we tried a bad bourbon. A bad bourbon with very good marketing. If the label and media is to be believed, there are two endearingly- and juxtaposedly-named losses during the aging of whiskey. The Angel’s Share is the portion of the whiskey lost to evaporation (or a fungus),

Golden Wedding Whisky At Dan & Laura’s Wedding

What a day! Congrats to our regular contributors Dan & Laura on their special day. Where’s the review, you ask? Well, this is going to get subjective. Objectively, you could say “you didn’t take any tasting notes” or “you didn’t write anything down” or “you were drinking it straight from the bottle in the parking

ScotchParty Review #6 – Ballantine’s Finest with Ashley, Dan, Bowick, Ryan, Jared & Goran

SCOTCHPARTY BLEND WOOOO It was getting late, but that’s what’s in the notes. Ballantine’s has an under-cited wiki page that goes on at length about its legacy and quality and other objective information.  Their website makes mention of being self-made so I’m assuming the blend here is with replicating nanobots. NanoScotch! Patent pending, jerks. Here’s

ScotchParty Review #4 – Auchentoshan 12y with Dan, Goran, Ryan, Ashley, Jared & Bowick

Sounds German, tastes Scottish.  A quick Google for “etymology auchentoshan” reveals it’s just very old Gaelic from a branch that hasn’t made its way into common Scots English. Apparently this is both “the Glasgow whisky” AND “the breakfast whisky” which leads me to believe a Glasgow brunch is a good place to get punched in

Grand MacNish with Dan, Goran & Bowick

Another twisty blend. This one was not a surprise, tho. Wish I could tell you more but they don’t even have a wiki page, let alone a product one. smell Dan – rubbing alcohol, peat, sulphury Simon – wormwood, sherry Goran – chocolate liquor thing Bowick – reminiscent of Chivas but better neat Dan –

Crown Royal De Luxe with Dan, Ryan & Goran

A Canadian classic, or part of the problem? Crown Royal divides whisky drinkers between those who look for the purple velvet bag (ROYALTY getit?) and those who steer clear. As it turns out, not that Canadian. Being owned by Diageo and based out of Connecticut can take some of the national sheen off any appreciation

Phillips Union Whiskey Kentucky Straight Bourbon/Canadian Whisky with Dan

This is the last refugee of my quick trip to Saint John, New Brunswick, and the second of what we’re calling Transnational Blends. If Three Ships was a curious rendezvous with a southern-hemisphere enchantress that makes you want to visit her foreign lands (nudgenudgewinkwink), then Phillips Union Whiskey’s cross-border mix of Kentucky Straight Bourbon and

Alberta Premium Canadian Rye Whisky with Goran & Ryan

Just a quick and dirty catchup post.  We reviewed this one a while ago as part of Project Tiny Bottles, the “let’s get post-fodder for cheap” initiative that has brought so, so much content to this site. What to say about Alberta Premium Canadian Rye Whisky? It’s part of the Beam Global brand, which if

Jim Beam Original Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey with Ryan & Goran

Sometimes there isn’t much to say about a bourbon.  Allegedly Jim Beam is the world’s best selling bourbon, oops, sorry, “Number 1” bourbon.  “Best selling” is something that could be backed up by data. Whereas “Number 1” is a sort of nebulous non-specific claim that looks good in marketing materials. They make lots of claims

Highball Collective Green Tea Infused Rye & Ginger with Ryan

Having a scotch blog isn’t all decades-old drams and scantily clad whiskeyettes doing suggestive dances in your face while you wax poetic on the emotional evocativeness of different phenols and long molecules in a fine glass of grain distillate. It’s mostly that, obviously. BUT SOMETIMES IT’S THIS. Exactly like a trench runner falling on a

Johnnie Walker Black Label 12y with Goran & Ryan

We need to start with a bit of a come-clean about Johnnie Walker.  None of us get it. We don’t get why JW is considered a great drink, let alone why it has the prestige it does. This is the second Label we’ve tried and we still don’t. smell Simon – honey, toffee, maple, smoke

Jack Daniel’s Old No. 7 Tennessee Sour Mash with Dan & Ryan

Not much to say about Jack Daniel’s that you haven’t already thrown up in an alley, praying for death.  They make Tennessee Sour Mash Whiskey, which legally is just bourbon from Tennessee.  It does taste different from worse than any bourbon I’ve tried, so there’s that.  However, this is the bottom line of the range,

Buffalo Trace White Dog Mash #1 with Ryan & Dan

Just a head’s up. After this review, we’re taking a break from un-aged whisk(e)y for a while. A long while. It tends to be the palate equivalent of seeing the sausage being made and I’m kind of tired of paying for that. Griping done. You’ve seen the previous article on Buffalo Trace bourbon.  This is

McClelland’s Islay Single Malt Whisky with Dan & Ryan

McClelland’s is not a distillery, so this is a little different from what we’ve been looking at so far.  They are a bottler, as near as I can tell, who get their contents from Morrison Bowmore’s various distilleries, split up into lines by geographic regions.  I guess the idea is to create a brand of

Canadian Club Premium with Dan & Ryan

This appeared in my whisky case after a party, and has been staring at me ever since. “I’m a classic” i keep hearing, “I’m so popular!” “I’m a staple!” That siren’s call has been rebuked by my subconscious, time and again with “NOOO you’re disgusting” “Canadian whisky is a dog’s breakfast” and “I have such

Dillon’s White Rye with Dan, Ryan & Goran

An honest to god rye.  Dillon’s White Rye is unaged, so it’s not legally a whisky, but it’s way more of a rye than anything called “Canadian Whisky”.  If you order a rye and coke, or a rye and ginger, chances are you’re being given Canadian Club or Crown Royal, both of which are predominantly

Forty Creek Premium Barrel Select with Dan & Ryan

Oh man. Forty Creek – a blast from the past.  You might be asking, dude, why? Why? WHY? It has at least three strikes: “Canadian Whisky” (which as we know is a moniker with some serious credibility issues), twist-off top, “premium” in the name. This was Dan’s go-to whisky for forever before we started this

Grant’s Family Reserve Blended Scotch Whisky with Dan, Ryan & Goran

Yeah… Grant’s.  To be fair, this is their entry scotch.  But it does set off a few specific warning bells: blend, twist off, website mentions mixing, etc.  Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with a blend, we just haven’t had a good one here yet.  Still haven’t. smell Dan – sulfur, peat, burnt sugar Simon

Glenmorangie 12y Lasanta with Dan

Okay.  Last of the Glenmorangies.  Pretty sick of typing Glenmorangie.  Only 5 minutes left to get this post up so here goes. Lasanta aged in sherry casks. Which means I probably won’t like it.  And I didn’t. smell dan – burn, thick church wine, molasses, grape simon – cocoa, grape, pear neat dan – no

Glenmorangie 12y Nectar d’Or with Dan

The next sampler out of the Glenmorangie Discovery Pack is the 12y Nectar d’Or, aged in Sauternes casks.  What is Sauternes? you might ask.  Totally legit, so did I. Sauternes is a sweet french wine, from some specific region of France and, interestingly, afflicted with a specific blight.  Botrytis Cinerea causes noble rot, which partially

Glenmorangie 12y Quinta Ruban with Dan

There’s only so much you can write about one scotch distiller and I feel like I’ve covered anything worth mentioning in the last two posts, so instead I thought I’d write about what Quinta Ruban is. According to Google, it’s this scotch expression aged in port casks.  Wahwah.  So, okay, that’s kind of predictable.  I