discerning drunks classy alcoholics

download_20161029_183237Two weeks ago we brought you AJ’s thoughts on The Liquormen’s Ol’ Dirty Canadian Whisky, the whisky of the Trailer Park Boys. This week’s celebrity vanity spirit is Wayne Gretzky’s No 99 Red Cask. I’ll have to grab Drake’s whatever the hell it’s called to round out (and maybe salvage) this well-marketed trio.

(Photo by Dan Young)

Obviously there are a lot of hockey references in the write-ups and promos for this bottle Р99 on the ice again and the like. Yay. This seems to be a logical extension of his winery business, based in Niagara.. ah who cares. Gretzky ditched Canada for the States, praised George W Bush, Stephen Harper & Patrick Brown. Fuck this guy, AND his (spoiler alert) shit whisky.

Dan – edradoury, caramel syrup (fake) light wood with something floral
Simon – def canadian whiskey, caramel
Vanni – caramel, syrupy
Davey – light toffee followed by burning
Ryan – granny smith apples

Dan – crazy caramel sauce texture, dear god this is disgustingly sweet
Simon – fake caramel
Vanni – short lived caramel syrup followed by intense burn
Davey – flavourful thrills gum
Ryan – can sugar, spice, burn

Dan – harsh & long, unpleasant
Simon – burn, chest warmth
Vanni – harsh numbing burn
Davey – thick & numb
Ryan – sweet

Dan – n/a
Simon – not great
Vanni – n/a
Davey – n/a
Ryan – n/a

Dan – 3.6/10
Simon – 3.5/10
Vanni – 4/10
Davey – 5/10
Ryan – 5/10

Wayne Gretzky 99 Red Cask Canadian Whisky – 40% 750ml – $34.95 – Canada

Try it? Don’t. Buy it? Do not.

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