Glen Garioch Founder’s Reserve with Dan & Goran

More ghosts of Christmases past! Woo hoo Christmas references in August!

Glen Garioch Founder’s Reserve. Another wonky Scottish name, Garioch is now pronounced somewhere between Geery and Garyich, like a chubbier Gareth. Traditionally, it is pronounced GRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA with a nasal umlaut in the middle, and is screamed into the genitals of one’s defeated enemies.

Glen Garioch weirdly lays claim to the title of Scotland’s most Easterly distillery, meaning it has the least amount of Atlantic ocean in its whisky. There’s a full coffee mug of Atlantic ocean in every bottle of scotch whisky by law, so I don’t know how they square that circle. GG is also one of the oldest distilleries in Scotland, predating the original occupation of Scotland by British soccer hooligans by several weeks.

I made up half that stuff because all these distilleries are starting to blend together, and that’s a solid b+ whisky joke. Here’s what we thought:

Simon – toasted rice
Dan – cocoa/pine tobacco, browned beef, dates
Goran – cherry, raisin, baked carrot

Simon – pretty non-specific, sweet
Dan – rum raisin
Goran – balanced, brown sugar, some orange

Simon – burn, a little smoke
Dan – beh
Goran – short, warm, no burn

Simon – burnt wood, moss
Dan – n/a
Goran – n/a

Simon – 5/10
Dan – 6.2/10
Goran – 7/10

Glen Garioch Founder’s Reserve – 48% 750ml – $59.95 – Highlands

Try it? Nah. Buy it? No.

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