Where’s the review, you ask? Well, this is going to get subjective. Objectively, you could say “you didn’t take any tasting notes” or “you didn’t write anything down” or “you were drinking it straight from the bottle in the parking lot because the reception hall wouldn’t let you inside”. Objectively, these things are true. Subjectively, they are extraneous to the day’s narrative.
Objectively, then, it would not be fair to try to review this whisky and give you, our faithful readers, a sense of whether you should try or buy it. Subjectively, however, it’s necessary to remember that you don’t drink whisky by yourself in a clinical anechoic chamber with a blindfold on. You drink it in the real world with people, often for a reason. We recently tweeted an article about scotch tasting better (being more enjoyed) in wooden rooms. Maybe there’s a pheremonic-level interaction with the wood esters and oak and phenols in the whisky, or maybe the wood room just seemed more fitting.
Does that mean a cheap Canadian Whisky drunk outside on the pavement with good friends on a happy day will taste better?
You’re goddamned right it does.
And I’m happy to leave it at that. But since objectively you could say that this was a lot of hot air to hide a complete lack of useful content, I can tell you that Golden Wedding whisky tastes like someone lit an Au Caramel on fire and threw it in a rain bucket. But I can also tell you that no one refused another pull.
Try it? No. Buy it? You’ll know when.