Today is Hallowe’en! The perfect day to review this horror-show, Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Honey.
This… drink… is kind of a nightmare, front to back. The taste is overpowering (but more on that later) and the marketing is over the top. There’s a promo video of a swarm of male King Bees hunting a bottle down because it’s so… honey, I guess. Nevermind that honeybees have queens and are predominantly female with only a few males kept for reproduction, who are typically cast out of the hive to starve and freeze come winter. Nevermind facts like that.
Whatever, nerds – go watch those videos, because they make no damn sense. They’ve got a recipe for a mixed drink that drowns it in three times as much lemonade. They have tasting notes which keep referring to nuts, please make your own jokes here. Here’s what we thought:
Dan – “pee”
Simon – piss
Goran – horse piss, honey
Davey – honey
Dan – hair product, conditioner, licorice
Simon – fake spicy, honey, salad bar, piss
Goran – white chocolate
Davey – dry scalp shampoo
Dan – shitty hallowe’en candy
Simon – burning garbage scow, honey
Goran – diluted honey coconut water
Davey – bad. dank sugar cane, burning mud
Dan – gross
Simon – full-on bad
Goran – nasty
Davey – burning
Dan – i’m drinking pure fucking sugar, simple syrup is less sweet
Simon – n/a
Goran – no
Davey – n/a
Try it? NO. Buy it? FUCK NO.