Unibroue La Résolution 2019 Extra Strong Beer with NotMike

It’s been 35+ degrees Celsius around here lately so it’s the perfect time to review a heavy beer you (checks internet) … probably can’t get anymore. Unibroue’s La Résolution – this one has the year 2019 on it.

What even is 2019? it’s been the hellscape of 2020 for 1000 years now.

But I digress. I’m digressing. If you go to their website, they mention aging it for 3-5 years. Since they started brewing this in 2014 and it “won awards” in 2015 I’m assuming they haven’t done said aging but have sold us a bottle of half-cooked booze.

This is something we’ve discussed before – beer aging. If I buy a whisky, it’s a finished product – maybe I add some water. This beer aging thing seems to be aimed at wine dorks. Am I really meant to spend more money than I would on a regular beer for something I’m not supposed to consume? It’s beer. I’m not buying it to look at, I’m buying it to drink. Either sell me a finished bevvy or sell it to me cheap since I’m gonna have to pay rent or a mortgage to store it.

There’s a couple other things on the website that don’t make sense. They talk about bottle conditioning with added yeast to defeat any oxygen left in the bottle – oxygen being beer’s “enemy”. Sure. But then they mention something about preventing the oxidation of the beer’s CO₂… except… CO₂ IS the oxide? There’s no non-ionic CO₃ between -45C and a plasma reaction. CO₄ is highly unstable, when it exists. CO₅ doesn’t exist on Earth. CO₆ might exist in the high atmosphere and other planets, not in your beer. Co7 is a diminished 7th chord (C-G♭-A-E♭).

It took me high school chemistry 25 years ago and like 3 minutes on the internet to figure that out. Marketing people, do better. Seriously. (Of course if I’ve gotten this wrong and a homebrewer out there can correct me please do so.) Anyway, here’s what we thought:

smell
Simon – yeasty, fruity, red fruits
Mike – different, very unibroue, cut vegetation

taste
Simon – christmas fist fight, shitty candy corn
Mike – mediciney, seven herbs and spices, out of key

finish
Simon – bitter, burps
Mike – not much, heavy molasses

overall – this is not the Grande Réserve
Simon – 5/10
Mike – 6.5/10

Unibroue La Résolution 2019 Extra Strong Beer – 10% 750ml – $??? – Quebec

Try it? Uh… Buy it? Nah.